Thursday, March 18, 2010 (20:18:30)
Hi Horde fans! This is ace reporter Zug Zug Zulga coming to you from the bustling streets of Dalaran bringing you the latest news affecting us all!
Our dear friend Dexy has decided to leave public office sighting a busy personal life. This reporter has heard rumors of a paternity suit pending and caught up with Dexy at The Filthy Animal (99¢ Wings every Thursday 4pm – 9pm!) for comment:
“Sure the kid is a bit beefy but I was nowhere near that Troll. Was I? Where's that bartender? They have the best Colorado Bulldogs here. Can I buy you one? Say, you’re kinda cute. You seeing anyone? You know those eight second rumors are just that. Rumors! Where’s that bartender? Can I buy you a drink? You’ve got the most beautiful tusks I’ve ever seen on an Orc. Maybe you and I….THERE he is! Bartender! BARTENDER!”
I ducked out while Dexy was placing his order but will keep you all posted of further developments in the case. Meanwhile our clan has had to say goodbye to another long time officer, Xoodie. This reporter attempted to contact Xoodie several times for comment. I finally caught up with Xoodie in the Barrens and got the following comment:
“Have you seen it? I know it’s here somewhere. *Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.* Do you have the same coordinates? The device says this is the area. Look for a box! *Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.* I know it’s here somewhere. *Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.* Are you looking!?!?”
This reporter is no trained professional but my personal opinion is Xoodie might have been driven over the edge by Barren’s chat. I can clearly see why too! I made my escape after pointing Xoodie in the opposite direction. It’s our sincere hope that the box is found along with Xoodie’s sanity.
With these vacancies in the Horde officership a new name was put forth by the officers and voted on by the members. A hearty congratulation goes out to the newest appointed Horde officer Gabb. Gabb has been a member of our community now for two years and always has an offer to help. A rumor was brought to this reporter regarding Gabb charging for dungeon runs and I contacted our newly appointed officer for comment:
“No no no. I do not charge others for help. Never have, never will! This all started after I met up with Dexy at The Filthy Animal and he started buying me Colorado Bulldogs. I musta had 4 or 5. Dexy was muttering something about big footed women make beautiful lovers when Rummi walked in and I started congratulating her on her new skills. She knows I meant “random” not “ransom”. This whole thing is a big misunderstanding that’s turned into a smear campaign! I'm always happy to help my fellow guildie!”
Having been the drinking companion of Dexy on a number of occasions, this reporter is inclined to believe Gabb’s account of the incident. One slurred statement shouldn’t besmirch a career of good deeds! This reporter sincerely believes we’ve chosen the right course by putting Gabb in office and wishes him a long and prosperous career! This is Zug Zug Zulga signing off for now. Keep your feet dry and your weapon wet with your enemy’s blood. FOR THE HORDE!
- Posted by: boogly
- Topic: World of Warcraft